Today, I Am Grateful

Today, I want to express my gratitude. Colton and I have been extremely blessed lately; I have been able to see the hand of the Lord in my life many times in the past few weeks.

First, Colton was blessed to find a stable job with a steady income. When the election season did not end up as we hoped it would, we expected to face the challenge of unemployment again. We lived through it once before and were prepared to do it again for a while. Not too long after his last job was over, Colton received not just one out-of-the-blue job offer, but TWO! We immediately recognized that the Lord was looking out for us and prayerfully considered which one to take. 

For the first time since I met my husband, he has a job that he loves. And the best part? He gets to be home a lot more. I can't even begin to describe how wonderful it is to have him home again. I no longer feel lonely and like I'm living the life of a widow; he comes home in time for dinner and we enjoy our weekends together. WE FINALLY GET TO BE NEWLYWEDS! No more 9 am to 1o pm workdays; no more 80+ hour work weeks. I'm excited to finally have precious time with my husband, for us to enjoy our time together and really learn everything there is to know about one another. I'm grateful that God knows me and loves me and has given me this blessing that I so desperately need and desire. 

Second, Grandpa Buxton passed away. It might sound strange for me to say that I'm grateful for this, but I truly am. Grandpa had been suffering from strokes, heart attacks, and prostate cancer for the past several years. He had been in and out of the hospital 8 times in 6 months. It was hard on the family to watch him suffer through so much pain and heartache. I only have been a member of his family for a little while, but he meant so much to me. He always made me feel welcome and special. I learned so much from his example about how to love and serve others, even at your own expense. He was really the only Grandpa I ever had and he showed me what being a Grandpa should be like. I love him for making me feel like a special granddaughter. I'm grateful for the close relationship he shared with Colton. I'm grateful to know that our goodbyes are only for a short time before we will see him again. I look forward to the day where I get to learn more from him and laugh and joke with him again. You can finally rest now, Grandpa. 

Third, I got a job as well. I had been interning last semester at a physical therapy clinic in order to graduate. I learned a lot from this internship and really enjoyed my time there. I was pleasantly surprised my last week of the internship when the physical therapist offered me a part-time PT Tech position. I was THRILLED! It felt so good to know that he appreciated all of my time and hard work as an unpaid intern and that the clinic had come to rely on my help. There were times throughout the internship that I was really discouraged; it was very difficult for me to put in so much time and effort without any pay. However, I can see now that the Lord was teaching me a lesson. He humbled me; and once I was humble enough to be grateful to have the learning experience instead of complaining, he blessed me with the desires of my heart. 

Lastly, I am in my final semester at Brigham Young University. I will graduate in April with a Bachelor's degree in Exercise & Wellness, something that I love and am very passionate about. I don't care that people say it's a pointless degree; I don't care that people say it won't get me anywhere. I have learned valuable information throughout my studies that will keep me and my family healthy and happy, and that is extremely important to me. I am very grateful for the opportunity and privilege of studying at BYU, of working towards a college degree and achieving it. I know that an education is one of the most important aspects of our lives here on Earth. And as if making it to my last semester wasn't sweet enough, I received a surprise notification that I had been selected to receive one last scholarship. Because of the unexpected funds, I was able to replace a broken laptop that was beyond repair and fairly expensive to replace. Again, the Lord knows the concerns and desires of our hearts. If we have faith in Him, he will provide. 

What are you grateful for today?

Halloween Fun

Pumpkin Carving with the Miles fam- always a good time! And we celebrated Jeremiah's 24th birthday- he was happy as can be!

And we also had some fun with our costumes this year (which btw were totally my husband's idea)!
We were the hit of the ward Trunk-or-Treat for sure!

 

And with Halloween being over and November beginning comes the busiest time of Colton's job working for the Romney campaign. Election day is almost here and things are crazy busy! As you can see, Colton's going out of his mind doing all he can to get Mitt in office- working 13 hour days, sending SEVEN deployment buses to Colorado/Nevada, and making record numbers at his call center. 3 more days! Proud of him.

Goodbye for 2 years

This post it a little late...

My baby brother Jamison is in the MTC preparing to go serve in the Missouri Independence Mission. And I want to brag about how great he is.

On October 14th, Jamo gave a farewell talk worthy of a returned missionary and I have never been more proud of him. My brother has always been something special. He loves everyone, and everyone loves him. He is constantly reminding people to stop being judgmental, that one can never completely know what someone is going through. When I think of Jamison's character, I always think of my favorite hymn: "Who am I to judge another, when I walk imperfectly? In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see." This is Jamo's most Christlike quality, one that many of us need to be reminded of.

Another great quality about Jamo is that speaking in front of people is a cake walk for him. He has the ability to stand in front of a lot of people and speak from his heart, be himself, and be led by the spirit, something that will help him during his mission. I knew his farewell talk would be sweet and honest and inspiring; my expectations were not only met but far exceeded. As he spoke about the gift of the Holy Ghost, I realized that my little brother really was ready. He had done his part in preparing for his mission. He had remained strong when many around him faltered. He was ready to serve. I was no longer looking at my little brother, but a man willing and ready to sacrifice.

For those of you that know my brother, you know he is goofy, fun, and confident in himself, sometimes a little too confident even! If you were there in the chapel that afternoon, you saw the change that I saw. As he shared personal experiences, his humility and honesty connected him to his audience. And then he testified. He testified of the power of the Atonement, of the real power of the Holy Ghost to influence your life and lead your decisions. Jamison stood before us a humble servant of God, recognizing his imperfections and his dependence on the spirit.

As I said before, because Jamo can love anyone, everybody loves him. I was really touched by the immensity of the support system he had that day. My favorite part of the day was seeing all of his inactive and nonmember friends there to support him. And not only were they there, but they were clearly feeling the spirit as Jamo spoke. He was touching their hearts. They were filled with the spirit, many of them with tears streaming down their faces because of the love they could feel and see that their friend had for them. His friends support him 100%, no matter their religious beliefs, in serving a mission and for that I am extremely grateful. They respect and love him for his decision to put a mission first in his life.

Jamison made me feel special that day - he told me some things that I really needed to hear. He called me his 'rock', told me I was the one that kept him going, was there to help him through anything and work through any questions. He trusted me to help him make right decisions. I'm so humbled and grateful. I was surprised because I always considered him to be MY 'rock' and go-to person, not the other way around. I guess that's what makes our relationships so special and strong, because we've always relied on each other and been there for each other through everything.

Whenever I needed someone's love, I turned to Jamison. I would drive all the way home some weekends just because I needed him to make me laugh. I am so proud of my brother; words cannot even express it. Watch out Independence- you have one dang good missionary heading your way!

Blogging Again?

So, I haven't been good about this whole blogging thing...


BUT I'm going to start blogging again because I need to keep some sort of journal of my life, and since I hate writing by hand for hours upon hours, this is gonna be it!


Colton and I have now been married 2 1/2 months, and a GREAT time it has been! I sure do love him. A lot.

Stay tuned, because from now on, this blog will tell our story, the story of the new Mr. & Mrs. Miles!

Never Say Never

My life is good.

Actually, my life is great!

Why? 3 reasons.

The first reason is the stud in this picture with me. It's a dang good reason, don't ya think? He takes care of me. He understands me, and when he doesn't (cause lets face it- we women can be crazy) he tries really hard to. He gives really good advice- he's got a few more years of wisdom than me. He rubs the knots out of my shoulders, and out of my heart. He heals me, and what he can't heal he reminds me that someone higher and mightier can. He makes me laugh. Don't be deceived by his pretty boy first impression- he's really a nerd, just like me. He lets me be a part of his family. And I love it. A lot. Because that's what it's all about, family. The family that you have now and the family that you will make for yourself. He holds me when I cry and tells me that it's cute, even when I know I must look disastrous. He constantly reminds me how lucky and blessed I am when I have those days when nothing is going right for me. He makes me a better person- I'm starting to learn the key to happiness: forgetting about yourself and doing all you can for the people you love. And best of all, he loves me the way I am. And that's all I've ever wanted.

The second reason is that I have successfully overcome my mid-college crisis. Yep, that's right. I had one. I have always loved school. I've always prided myself on that. Well, the past few months have consisted of lack of focus, lack of motivation, and lack of passion for learning. I kept pushing through it and pushing through it. But that didn't seem to work. Something had to change. The only reason I was studying Math Ed. was my love for teaching, and that reason just wasn't enough anymore. At a session of General Conference, I got an answer. The Lord fulfills his promises! I can still be a teacher and do what I love without being a Teacher. Get it? This semester I began my Coaching minor classes and let me tell ya- I am soaking this stuff up! My craving for learning returned, my desire to excel is back, and I am motivated. So, here's my solution: I changed my major to Exercise and Wellness. And the really great part? I can still graduate on time! The Lord watches out for me and I am so thankful. I now have new hopes and dreams. I went through some refiner's fire to find them, but they are here and they are stronger than ever.

The third reason is more personal. Again, a lot of inspired people have helped me find answers to my questions. I was letting some things from my past hold me back. I didn't want to. But I didn't know how to let go. Now I do. Forgive and forget has taken on a whole new meaning to me recently. It means digging down deep for compassion. It means mustering up courage. It means humbling yourself so that others can help heal you. It means learning to love and trust again. It means remembering what is most important in the bigger picture. It means moving forward, even when the unknown is scary. It means finding gratitude for what you have and forgetting what you don't. It means finding happiness. After all, it is better to look up. And it means having confidence and faith that you can overcome anything, anything at all.

Never Say Never.

What For?!

Ya know, I used to ask "What for?"

Now I say, "Why the heck not?!"

Life is much too short to be making excuses all the time. There just isn't time for justification. Somebody really smart once reminded me, "Be who you are and love where it takes you."

Something I've figured out in the past couple of weeks: Be you, and people will love you for it. And guess what? That allows you to love them back.

Courage

Courage to go on. Courage to move forward when the future is so unknown and so scary.

Where has this courage been? Lost. Lost for much too long. But now it's back. Why? Because there is a reason to get up in the morning. There is a reason to put a smile on my face. And that reason is love. Love for family, love for friends, and most importantly love from those people in return.

Love. Love requires courage. And it takes love to have courage. A frustrating and confusing relationship, but so worth every moment of figuring it all out. It takes courage to love people, to make yourself so vulnerable and trusting. Some may break this trust; some may break your heart. But those who truly love and care for you will never leave your heart. It takes even more courage to let people love you, to let people within the walls you've built up. It would be so much easier if there weren't any walls. But the people that want to love you won't sit and wait for you to take them down; they'll help you do it, brick by brick, tearing down the walls and building up the trust. That takes true courage.

You must feel love for something, anything, to keep you going. The things I love that keep me going are small and simple. Family. Friends. Laughter. Music. My Grandma. Letters. Roommates. Family. Family. And more Family.

Does it hurt to love something so much? You bet. Does it hurt to not love something enough? Definitely. Is it possible to love someone too much? Never!

I don't know my future; I can't even see myself six months from now. But one thing I do know is that living life scared to love hurts. It doesn't protect you like you think it will. Love takes courage, courage to trust, courage to move forward into the unknown, courage to sacrifice. And ya know what? It's supposed to be that way.

I have courage because I love my family, my friends, and they have my back. I find courage in the love and trust people place in me, courage to have their back.

Courage.

Confusing, beautiful, intimidating, real, difficult, encouraging.