Courage to go on. Courage to move forward when the future is so unknown and so scary.
Where has this courage been? Lost. Lost for much too long. But now it's back. Why? Because there is a reason to get up in the morning. There is a reason to put a smile on my face. And that reason is love. Love for family, love for friends, and most importantly love from those people in return.
Love. Love requires courage. And it takes love to have courage. A frustrating and confusing relationship, but so worth every moment of figuring it all out. It takes courage to love people, to make yourself so vulnerable and trusting. Some may break this trust; some may break your heart. But those who truly love and care for you will never leave your heart. It takes even more courage to let people love you, to let people within the walls you've built up. It would be so much easier if there weren't any walls. But the people that want to love you won't sit and wait for you to take them down; they'll help you do it, brick by brick, tearing down the walls and building up the trust. That takes true courage.
You must feel love for something, anything, to keep you going. The things I love that keep me going are small and simple. Family. Friends. Laughter. Music. My Grandma. Letters. Roommates. Family. Family. And more Family.
Does it hurt to love something so much? You bet. Does it hurt to not love something enough? Definitely. Is it possible to love someone too much? Never!
I don't know my future; I can't even see myself six months from now. But one thing I do know is that living life scared to love hurts. It doesn't protect you like you think it will. Love takes courage, courage to trust, courage to move forward into the unknown, courage to sacrifice. And ya know what? It's supposed to be that way.
I have courage because I love my family, my friends, and they have my back. I find courage in the love and trust people place in me, courage to have their back.
Courage.
Confusing, beautiful, intimidating, real, difficult, encouraging.
