To My Sweet Baby Girl, January 20, 2015
You are already so cherished and so loved. Your daddy and I have been waiting and praying for you for what feels like our entire lives. You see, we've been very anxious to have you join us. Anxious might be an understatement; impatient. Yes, impatient for you to join us. Perhaps that is why you are just now coming to us, to teach us our very first lesson in parenting. I'm sure there will be many more for us to learn from you.
Here is what I've learned from you already, my darling baby. I have learned that sometimes our Father in Heaven wants to bless us so very badly, because He loves us so much, but He knows it isn't time yet. And I know now that it does not mean we aren't doing enough to deserve the blessing we ask for. It simply means 'No, not yet. Trust me; I have a design for your life.' Had we been blessed with you right when we wanted you, I would not have learned to trust in God, trust in His plan for our family, and to wait patiently for the plan to unfold in His timing.
I have learned that the divine gift of Motherhood is just that, a gift. I don't think people know or remember just how lucky they are to be mothers. Especially as I was waiting for you. It hurt me to watch others be given this precious gift and seem to so quickly forget how lucky they are as they complain about the changes in their body, the unpleasantries of pregnancy, the busy schedule of being a new mother, the struggle to regain life's delicate balance. It hurt me to hear stories on the news of mothers and fathers who neglect their children, who hurt their children, who don't deserve their children. And so I know, and I will always remember, that you are giving me the greatest gift; you are making me a mother. And I thank you and Heavenly Father for trusting me with this gift.
I have learned that we are stronger than we think we are. Your daddy played a big part in this, too. Each time our prayers seemed to go unanswered, our efforts unrewarded, I felt my heart rip in half. Really. That's what it felt like; my heart hurt so badly and it seemed beyond repair at times. And then slowly, sometimes very slowly, your daddy would help it stop hurting. You should know how amazing your father is; he was the strong one, he was the faithful one, he was the hopeful one, when I couldn't be. I relied on him. On him, on my Savior, and on you. Yes, you. I could feel you encouraging me to keep hoping, to keep trying, to not give up.
Baby girl, now you are growing. Oh man, are you growing! Just a few weeks ago, I got to feel you move inside of me for the very first time. Just a few days ago, your daddy got to feel you squirming, full of life and energy, for the very first time. These moments are forever ingrained in my heart and mind. You are 20 weeks old now, and in about the same amount of time, your daddy and I will get to hold you in our arms. But in the meantime, we pray every day for you, for your continual growth and development, for you to know how much we love you and how lucky we are that you are ours. You and I, we are making a miracle happen. Every day. I feel it when you somersault; I feel it when you kick; I feel it when I sing to you or daddy reads to you, and you let us know you can hear us.
We love you, precious. Thank you for answering our prayers.
Love,
Mommy & Daddy
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| Our first family picture! |
