Growth

Colton and I teach Gospel Principles each and every Sunday- a Sunday School class based on the simple principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We were chosen and asked to begin this class after a length of nonexistence in our ward. I felt scared, inadequate, nervous, anxious, worried, terrified, and surprised. Scared and terrified of my first opportunity to teach the gospel. Nervous and anxious about reforming and starting up a new class. Worried about my inadequacy- I am young and there are much more qualified and experienced people for the task. Surprised that our leaders would request for us to tackle this project when we had only been there a few months ourselves and hadn't had the chance to become acquainted with many people.

But now I'm grateful.

Grateful and happy. 

I'm beginning to realize how much this opportunity has taught me, how much it has forced me to learn and grow. My friends and family know I can be an introvert. I find it extremely difficult to be open, honest, and vulnerable with people, even people close to me. I tend to shut down and close myself off from feeling, from trusting, from letting people see who I am. Thankfully, in order to teach the beautiful simplicity of the gospel, I had to get past those tendencies. I learned to open up and share the thoughts and feelings that are in my head and heart. And every time I found the courage to do that, my confidence and courage grew.

It still isn't easy for me, but it's easier.

 And now I get to see people do the same. That's the biggest thing that I have learned: when you share your heart with others, they're 1000 x more likely to share their heart with you.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

We are learning and growing together. We are helping each other remember the simple beauty and happiness that comes from living the principles that Jesus Christ taught. We share experiences, testimonies, fears, joys, concerns, hope. 

My favorite experience so far: bonding with my sweet Chilean sister. 

This woman just moved to a new country with a foreign culture and language. She and her family are from thousands of miles away. They don't speak any English. They've experienced nothing but hardship and obstacles since coming here. 

I don't speak Spanish. The extent of my knowledge of the Spanish language is 7th and 8th grade Spanish class: "Hola! Como estas?" and "Me llamo es Hermana Miles," and "Me gusta cantar." Do I wish I had learned more now? Absolutely. But here is the amazing thing. 

This sweet sister started coming to our class because it is significantly smaller than the gospel doctrine class. She was lost, lonely, and confused. The day she came to our class for the very first time, our lesson was on the Atonement of Jesus Christ, my most favorite subject to discuss and bear testimony of. Our lesson consisted of uplifting discussion, sharing of experiences, and a great presence of the spirit. And then we played the Reflections of Christ slideshow (on the far left). 

We may not speak the same language. We may not be able to communicate with words. But that Sunday, I was able to communicate my testimony and love for my Savior to this sister. There has been no sweeter teaching moment than watching her countenance soften and her eyes fill with tears. No sweeter moment than her heartfelt and sincere embrace and "Gracias. Gracias hermana." 

Later, she explained to me (via a fellow class member who has begun translating for her) that for the first time since leaving her home in Chile, she felt the spirit that day. For the first time since being here in a ward of strangers and language barriers, she felt love and peace; she felt welcome. 

We have a special bond now. We cry together, almost every class (I swear my tear ducts are somehow directly attached to my heart). We smile at each other and embrace. She even comments in class frequently and contributes to discussion confidently.

She is my sister. This woman that I can't even communicate with in the usual way. And I love her. 

Growth. 

I have grown. I have been stretched. This opportunity is molding me into the person that God wants and needs me to be at this time and place. We, my husband and I, the people that attend our class, are growing. And that's the beautiful simplicity of the gospel.